Teen camp was really great. I didn't expect it to look anything like it did. I had a lot of fun and met some really great people. I found a passion and "rippled" on the girls I met and they rippled right back. It felt amazing. As I was pouring into those that I now love they poured right back into me. I left camp more full than when I came, it was amazing. The girls in my cabin were so sweet and full of compassion and dreams and visions. It was suprising how much I grew, when I left for this weekend I didn't expect that at all. I was going to have some fun and make some friends which I did. I also got to witness and change some lives and in turn have my life changed. I prayed with one of my new friends as they accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour and left there so excited and wishing to celebrate. It was a huge moment for them as well as for me. Having God use me in such a way is an honour. I feel blessed to have gone to teen camp, it was amazing.
<3
Friday, July 07, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
CAR wash.
working at the car wash./yeah.
Today was pretty fun. Full of washing cars, sitting around, getting wet. .and you know, doing stuff. I pretty much loved it. I love youth sssssstuff. and I love the youth. and all them young adults too, don't worry.
Monday, June 12, 2006
I haven't blogged in quite awhile and I learned a very important lesson today so I thought I'd share it with you guys.
Theres this guy that I've been head over heels with for awhile now and I'd go way out of my way just to talk with him. He intrigued me, there was definetly a mystery to him. So being the girl I am I told all my friends that I was crushing on him, pointed him out to my mom in the yearbook, invited him to church, anything I possibly could. I loved talking about him. So then I find out he has a girlfriend. My initial response was a painful stare of unbelief and then turned into an even more painful sinking in of the truth. As tragic as it was at the time, I've now realized that its not that big of a deal and that life goes on. It may not seem like a big realization but it was huge for me. I had to walk down the hall thinking about all the good things going on just to keep myself from crying. I was hurt. So yeah, the lesson in all of this for me was to guard my heart. I was pretty much asking for him to step on my heart, I was sticking it right underneath his foot. He's someone I barely know, who barely knows me, and put my self in a very vulnerable position. I'm not sure what guarding my heart looks like, but I'm pretty sure I know a few things I would go back and change..
anyways, I guess you guys can learn from my mistake..
Theres this guy that I've been head over heels with for awhile now and I'd go way out of my way just to talk with him. He intrigued me, there was definetly a mystery to him. So being the girl I am I told all my friends that I was crushing on him, pointed him out to my mom in the yearbook, invited him to church, anything I possibly could. I loved talking about him. So then I find out he has a girlfriend. My initial response was a painful stare of unbelief and then turned into an even more painful sinking in of the truth. As tragic as it was at the time, I've now realized that its not that big of a deal and that life goes on. It may not seem like a big realization but it was huge for me. I had to walk down the hall thinking about all the good things going on just to keep myself from crying. I was hurt. So yeah, the lesson in all of this for me was to guard my heart. I was pretty much asking for him to step on my heart, I was sticking it right underneath his foot. He's someone I barely know, who barely knows me, and put my self in a very vulnerable position. I'm not sure what guarding my heart looks like, but I'm pretty sure I know a few things I would go back and change..
anyways, I guess you guys can learn from my mistake..
Saturday, May 13, 2006
//different//
Wow, It's been a wierd week. I'm not even sure I understand it all yet, theres definetly got to be a lesson in it somewhere.
It started with uncontrollable sobbing all Sunday, Oh and monday, and tuesday and also some of wednesday. And in the midst of that was some wierd on and off sickness that involved icky tummies and a whole lot of sneezing. I was dizzy a lot too and I just was completely exhausted most of the time. Not to mention I was really irritable and grumpy at everyone. I'm pretty sure I understand that one though, I was frustrated with soem family stuff and that was translating into the other areas of my life.
Gosh, so in between all the grumbling I did about everything I had a few of the most amazing moments of my life. I was forced to go to God because I couldn't talk to anybody about what was going on because I didn't really know. I spent more time in prayer than I have in awhile. I also had to discipline myself to do my bible study even though I would have much rather been sleeping. So I guess, I do kind of understand a little of whats going on. I'm pretty sure this is what they call trials and I'm gaining some perseverance and becoming intimate with God.
A big thing I've been thinking about a lot this week is the verse that goes:
"If you love me, obey my commandments"
I don't know where its found but I know I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I think it shows you what Christianity is really about. A lot of people see it as just an extra set of rules that "goody-goodys" follow. I've been really chewing on it for a while. Everything we do should be out of love for Jesus and in gratitude for everything He's done for us. Like, we often say we love Jesus or atleast I do but lately I've noticed that those are just words and my actions need to portray that. This whole thought makes much more sence in my head ... God just keeps asking me, Do you love Me? and my answer is always changing and I really want it to be yes but thats not the reality all the time. It's something that I'm defiently working on.
Anyways, I think I"m going to stop rambling now...
It started with uncontrollable sobbing all Sunday, Oh and monday, and tuesday and also some of wednesday. And in the midst of that was some wierd on and off sickness that involved icky tummies and a whole lot of sneezing. I was dizzy a lot too and I just was completely exhausted most of the time. Not to mention I was really irritable and grumpy at everyone. I'm pretty sure I understand that one though, I was frustrated with soem family stuff and that was translating into the other areas of my life.
Gosh, so in between all the grumbling I did about everything I had a few of the most amazing moments of my life. I was forced to go to God because I couldn't talk to anybody about what was going on because I didn't really know. I spent more time in prayer than I have in awhile. I also had to discipline myself to do my bible study even though I would have much rather been sleeping. So I guess, I do kind of understand a little of whats going on. I'm pretty sure this is what they call trials and I'm gaining some perseverance and becoming intimate with God.
A big thing I've been thinking about a lot this week is the verse that goes:
"If you love me, obey my commandments"
I don't know where its found but I know I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I think it shows you what Christianity is really about. A lot of people see it as just an extra set of rules that "goody-goodys" follow. I've been really chewing on it for a while. Everything we do should be out of love for Jesus and in gratitude for everything He's done for us. Like, we often say we love Jesus or atleast I do but lately I've noticed that those are just words and my actions need to portray that. This whole thought makes much more sence in my head ... God just keeps asking me, Do you love Me? and my answer is always changing and I really want it to be yes but thats not the reality all the time. It's something that I'm defiently working on.
Anyways, I think I"m going to stop rambling now...
Sunday, April 16, 2006
15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[a] And by him we cry, "Abba,[b] Father."
Romans 8:15
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
On that day they will say to Jerusalem, "Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.
Zephaniah 3:16
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
JOSHUA1:9
I have been given a spirit of Freedom and not of Fear. I will proclaim that and live it. I need not fear.
HALLELUJAH!
Romans 8:15
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
On that day they will say to Jerusalem, "Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.
Zephaniah 3:16
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
JOSHUA1:9
I have been given a spirit of Freedom and not of Fear. I will proclaim that and live it. I need not fear.
HALLELUJAH!
Friday, April 14, 2006
Soldier's Covenant
Having accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord, and desiring to fulfil my membership of His Church on earth as a soldier of The Salvation Army, I now by God's grace enter into a sacred covenant.I believe and will live by the truths of the word of God expressed in The Salvation Army's eleven articles of faith:
-We believe that the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments were given by inspiration of God; and that they only constitute the Divine rule of Christian faith and practice.
-We believe that there is only one God, who is infinitely perfect, the Creator, Preserver, and Governor of all things, and who is the only proper object of religious worship.
-We believe that there are three persons in the Godhead - the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost - undivided in essence and co-equal in power and glory.
-We believe that in the person of Jesus Christ the Divine and human natures are united, so that He is truly and properly God and truly and properly man.
-We believe that our first parents were created in a state of innocency, but by their disobedience they lost their purity and happiness; and that in consequence of their fall all men have become sinners, totally depraved, and as such are justly exposed to the wrath of God.
-We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ has, by His suffering and death, made an atonement for the whole world so that whosoever will may be saved.
-We believe that repentance towards God, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and regeneration by the Holy Spirit are necessary to salvation.
-We believe that we are justified by grace, through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ; and that he that believeth hath the witness in himself.
-We believe that continuance in a state of salvation depends upon continued obedient faith in Christ.
-We believe that it is the privilege of all believers to be wholly sanctified, and that their whole spirit and soul and body may be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
-We believe in the immortality of the soul; in the resurrection of the body; in the general judgment at the end of the world; in the eternal happiness of the righteous; and in the endless punishment of the wicked.
-I will be responsive to the Holy Spirit's work and obedient to His leading in my life, growing in grace through worship, prayer, service and the reading of the Bible.
-I will make the values of the Kingdom of God and not the values of the world the standard for my life.
-I will uphold Christian integrity in every area of my life, allowing nothing in thought, word or deed that is unworthy, unclean, untrue, profane, dishonest or immoral.I will maintain Christian ideals in all my relationships with others; my family and neighbours, my colleagues and fellow salvationists, those to whom and for whom I am responsible, and the wider community.
-I will uphold the sanctity of marriage and of family life. I will be a faithful steward of my time and gifts, my money and possessions, my body, my mind and my spirit, knowing that I am accountable to God.
-I will abstain from alcoholic drink, tobacco, the non-medical use of addictive drugs, gambling, pornography, the occult and all else that could enslave the body or spirit.
-I will be faithful to the purposes for which God raised up The Salvation Army, sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, endeavouring to win others to Him, and in His name caring for the needy and the disadvantaged.
-I will be actively involved, as I am able, in the life, work, worship and witness of the corps, giving as large a proportion of my income as possible to support its ministries and the worldwide work of the Army.
-I will be true to the principles and practices of The Salvation Army, loyal to its leaders, and I will show the spirit of salvationism whether in times of popularity or persecution.
I now call upon all present to witness that I enter into this covenant and sign these articles of war of my own free will, convinced that the love of Christ, who died and now lives to save me, requires from me this devotion of my life to His service for the salvation of the whole world; and therefore do here declare my full determination, by God's help, to be a true soldier of The Salvation Army.
"I don't understand why anyone can believe all these things and agree to live their life in this manor and not become a soldier."
I understand why. Fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of being inadequate. Thats whats holding me back anyways. I want to be a good soldier, and I want Jesus to be proud of me. I don't want to make a covenant that I know I'm going to break. It's scary letting someone else have complete control. I don't know whats making me so afraid. I've been in a place where I surrendered all of my self doubt, all of my worries, and all of my fears and the freedom I felt was indescribable but then I picked them all back up again. I cart them around wherever I go, desiring to let them go yet I never drop them, not even for a moment. I hold on to them as if they were treasure. I don't understand myself. Its wierd.
Having accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord, and desiring to fulfil my membership of His Church on earth as a soldier of The Salvation Army, I now by God's grace enter into a sacred covenant.I believe and will live by the truths of the word of God expressed in The Salvation Army's eleven articles of faith:
-We believe that the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments were given by inspiration of God; and that they only constitute the Divine rule of Christian faith and practice.
-We believe that there is only one God, who is infinitely perfect, the Creator, Preserver, and Governor of all things, and who is the only proper object of religious worship.
-We believe that there are three persons in the Godhead - the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost - undivided in essence and co-equal in power and glory.
-We believe that in the person of Jesus Christ the Divine and human natures are united, so that He is truly and properly God and truly and properly man.
-We believe that our first parents were created in a state of innocency, but by their disobedience they lost their purity and happiness; and that in consequence of their fall all men have become sinners, totally depraved, and as such are justly exposed to the wrath of God.
-We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ has, by His suffering and death, made an atonement for the whole world so that whosoever will may be saved.
-We believe that repentance towards God, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and regeneration by the Holy Spirit are necessary to salvation.
-We believe that we are justified by grace, through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ; and that he that believeth hath the witness in himself.
-We believe that continuance in a state of salvation depends upon continued obedient faith in Christ.
-We believe that it is the privilege of all believers to be wholly sanctified, and that their whole spirit and soul and body may be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
-We believe in the immortality of the soul; in the resurrection of the body; in the general judgment at the end of the world; in the eternal happiness of the righteous; and in the endless punishment of the wicked.
-I will be responsive to the Holy Spirit's work and obedient to His leading in my life, growing in grace through worship, prayer, service and the reading of the Bible.
-I will make the values of the Kingdom of God and not the values of the world the standard for my life.
-I will uphold Christian integrity in every area of my life, allowing nothing in thought, word or deed that is unworthy, unclean, untrue, profane, dishonest or immoral.I will maintain Christian ideals in all my relationships with others; my family and neighbours, my colleagues and fellow salvationists, those to whom and for whom I am responsible, and the wider community.
-I will uphold the sanctity of marriage and of family life. I will be a faithful steward of my time and gifts, my money and possessions, my body, my mind and my spirit, knowing that I am accountable to God.
-I will abstain from alcoholic drink, tobacco, the non-medical use of addictive drugs, gambling, pornography, the occult and all else that could enslave the body or spirit.
-I will be faithful to the purposes for which God raised up The Salvation Army, sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, endeavouring to win others to Him, and in His name caring for the needy and the disadvantaged.
-I will be actively involved, as I am able, in the life, work, worship and witness of the corps, giving as large a proportion of my income as possible to support its ministries and the worldwide work of the Army.
-I will be true to the principles and practices of The Salvation Army, loyal to its leaders, and I will show the spirit of salvationism whether in times of popularity or persecution.
I now call upon all present to witness that I enter into this covenant and sign these articles of war of my own free will, convinced that the love of Christ, who died and now lives to save me, requires from me this devotion of my life to His service for the salvation of the whole world; and therefore do here declare my full determination, by God's help, to be a true soldier of The Salvation Army.
"I don't understand why anyone can believe all these things and agree to live their life in this manor and not become a soldier."
I understand why. Fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of being inadequate. Thats whats holding me back anyways. I want to be a good soldier, and I want Jesus to be proud of me. I don't want to make a covenant that I know I'm going to break. It's scary letting someone else have complete control. I don't know whats making me so afraid. I've been in a place where I surrendered all of my self doubt, all of my worries, and all of my fears and the freedom I felt was indescribable but then I picked them all back up again. I cart them around wherever I go, desiring to let them go yet I never drop them, not even for a moment. I hold on to them as if they were treasure. I don't understand myself. Its wierd.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
Intimacy with the Almighty
I got the new book for XLR8 today:) I'm excited to read it, I've only just looked through it and read one line but I'm pretty sure its going to be full of things I need to hear.
The back of the book says:
Noise and woreds and frenzied, hectic schedules dull our senses, closing out ears to His still, small voice and making us numb to His touch.
Thats definetly how I'm feeling right now so I think digging into this book is going to be pretty sweet. I don't want to read this book and have it be just a nice book though. I want some life flipping stuff.. I need to allow my life to be flipped first though. I need to open myself up and really allow this to happen. I need to surrender to God but its so hard. I'm holding tightly to my life even though I know that inorder to live I must give my life away. God, help me with this, I can't do it on my own. I'm stuck and you are my way out and yet I keep turning to others hoping that they'll be able to help. I realize that you are the way but I'm afraid of trusting you completely. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I really am. You are faithful and you are true, I have no reason to be afraid. Fear not. Fear not. Fear not.
I need to surrender.
The back of the book says:
Noise and woreds and frenzied, hectic schedules dull our senses, closing out ears to His still, small voice and making us numb to His touch.
Thats definetly how I'm feeling right now so I think digging into this book is going to be pretty sweet. I don't want to read this book and have it be just a nice book though. I want some life flipping stuff.. I need to allow my life to be flipped first though. I need to open myself up and really allow this to happen. I need to surrender to God but its so hard. I'm holding tightly to my life even though I know that inorder to live I must give my life away. God, help me with this, I can't do it on my own. I'm stuck and you are my way out and yet I keep turning to others hoping that they'll be able to help. I realize that you are the way but I'm afraid of trusting you completely. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I really am. You are faithful and you are true, I have no reason to be afraid. Fear not. Fear not. Fear not.
I need to surrender.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Wow, so, so much is going on right now. I don't even understand it all. I'm trying to seek out God and come closer to Him right now but theres so much going on here right in front of my face that my thoughts get distracted and then I start focusing on all of that instead of seeking out who God is and what he wants from my life. The major thing thats getting me right now is all of these boy troubles I'm having. You'd think that being single would be easier.. It feels like I can't escape them right now, I just want to be single and focus on more important things. I want to have friends, not boyfriends. Its hard. I'm pretty sure dating ruins a lot of things anyways. At this point in my life I believe that dating is going to do much more harm than good. I just don't need it right now, you know?
So my head hurts right now from thinking so much, and my tummy hurts from twisting so much. Everything is so stressful sometimes, right now would be one of those times.
Gosh. What I'm trying to figure out right now is what I'm supposed to be doing. Like, where does my ministry lye, what should I do on an everyday basis, What does being a woman of God look like in my everyday life? I'm having so much trouble with this, everything keeps getting in the way. I'm not making it a priority even though I know that I really want it to be. Could you guys pray for me, I just want a clearhead so bad. I want to know what God wants from me. I want to know how to find a balance. I don't want to play church.
So my head hurts right now from thinking so much, and my tummy hurts from twisting so much. Everything is so stressful sometimes, right now would be one of those times.
Gosh. What I'm trying to figure out right now is what I'm supposed to be doing. Like, where does my ministry lye, what should I do on an everyday basis, What does being a woman of God look like in my everyday life? I'm having so much trouble with this, everything keeps getting in the way. I'm not making it a priority even though I know that I really want it to be. Could you guys pray for me, I just want a clearhead so bad. I want to know what God wants from me. I want to know how to find a balance. I don't want to play church.
Friday, March 24, 2006
L.O.V.E.
I'm not sure why I don't read these devotionals more often but I did today and was very glad I did. Read it yourself and you'll see why.
Living By Your New Nature
This devotional was written by Jim Liebelt
But I tell you, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.".— Matthew 5:44-45 (NIV)
The story has been told of a man who while hiking in a desert, stumbled upon a rattlesnake that had become hopelessly wedged between a boulder and some limbs from a fallen tree. The man decided to save the rattlesnake, but in the process the snake tried to bite him. The man tried to free the snake a second time. Again, the snake tried to bite the man. Finally, on the third attempt the man succeeded in freeing the snake. And still, the snake coiled and attempted to strike its liberator. The man’s companion, who had observed from a safe distance, asked the man why he continued to risk himself to free the snake. The man responded, “The snake was attempting to strike because that is its nature. My nature is to love. Should I cease to love because the snake attempts to strike?”
Jesus demonstrated this same concept – a commitment to living by his own nature regardless of another’s nature - when he gave his life to die on our behalf. Hebrews 12:3 instructs us to “Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” The call of the Christ-follower is the call to live our lives following Jesus’ example and based on our new nature as God’s children. We are called to love and serve, regardless of the opposition or persecution we face from others.
Today, will you love even when others attempt to strike?
It definetly gives you something to think about. I know I was thinking.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Some Random for your Day.
Wow, I haven't done much blogging in the last little while so I might hit you hard with a lot of my thoughts from the last little while.
Well its February. I must say that I love february. It might even be my favourite month. Why?
Well its full of birthdays, 5 in my family alone, it holds the wondrous day of love that I like to call
Valentines day, and... its the month before my month. All of which make me smile from ear to ear.
I'm really excited about Valentines Day this year. Its a day of love and thats what I'm going to spend it
doing, just loving on everyone. Often if you're not in a relationship with anybody then Valentines Day
turns into a depressing day and I just think that contradicts the whole point of the day. Everyone in this
world is loved and I think Valentines Day is a wonderful day to celebrate that love. So I'm going to be a Valentines
Day Fairy and remind our school of this love that is reaching out to them.
AND>..
Now that I'm done talking aobut VD I can start talking and ranting about other things. Like, the last week has been a week of refocusing and switching around my priority list. My list isn't where it should be still but its something that I've been working on. Each day God is getting closer to the center of my life, He's taking away all that holds me back from him and that holds him back from me.
I went to this prayer meeting on Tuesday at lunch and I could feel the passion for God when I walked in and I didn't want to leave when lunch was over. God was in that place and it was so nice being able to pray with other believers from my school and to have the fire once again rekindled. I was reminded of Gods power on Tuesday, I was reminded that he is everywhere. It was pretty amazing.
Anyways, I've got so many things that I really want to get out and not enough time at the moment but I'm goign to attempt to blog more regularily.
Well its February. I must say that I love february. It might even be my favourite month. Why?
Well its full of birthdays, 5 in my family alone, it holds the wondrous day of love that I like to call
Valentines day, and... its the month before my month. All of which make me smile from ear to ear.
I'm really excited about Valentines Day this year. Its a day of love and thats what I'm going to spend it
doing, just loving on everyone. Often if you're not in a relationship with anybody then Valentines Day
turns into a depressing day and I just think that contradicts the whole point of the day. Everyone in this
world is loved and I think Valentines Day is a wonderful day to celebrate that love. So I'm going to be a Valentines
Day Fairy and remind our school of this love that is reaching out to them.
AND>..
Now that I'm done talking aobut VD I can start talking and ranting about other things. Like, the last week has been a week of refocusing and switching around my priority list. My list isn't where it should be still but its something that I've been working on. Each day God is getting closer to the center of my life, He's taking away all that holds me back from him and that holds him back from me.
I went to this prayer meeting on Tuesday at lunch and I could feel the passion for God when I walked in and I didn't want to leave when lunch was over. God was in that place and it was so nice being able to pray with other believers from my school and to have the fire once again rekindled. I was reminded of Gods power on Tuesday, I was reminded that he is everywhere. It was pretty amazing.
Anyways, I've got so many things that I really want to get out and not enough time at the moment but I'm goign to attempt to blog more regularily.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
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