Ahh, the power of God through the wonders of the Ipod.

My Ipod is talking to me. My tummy is turning and gosh, this is definetly the wake up call that was needed. I've had so many struggles in my head lately and I just needed to tune in. Which, oh my gosh, definetly happened.

So heres the story. I was making a playlist, may I add a very good playlist, mainly because I was bored and it was the thing to do. I wasn't even thinking really about what I was putting on it, just a mix of random, random of which i really like. So I was listening to this and God was speaking through the words of the songs so clearly. It was kind of creepy in a way. But it wasn't only exactly what I needed to hear it was also a feeling that I needed to feel. I've been struggling with my faith in the last week or so and I've been praying for the fire inside me to be rekindled and it is now flaming all the way to my nose. tres wow.

christmas.

This Christmas was full of firsts for me. It was my first time ever leaving my house on Christmas. I kid you not, I have never even played outside in my backyard on Christmas. I've never had to, Christmas was always celebrated at our house, everything always came to me so I've never had to leave the comfort of my home. This year wasn't going to be any different, I thought that my mommy would make my sister and I stay home. I was actually very surprised when she allowed us to go, it was pretty amazing.

At the church, we sang of love. we sang of joy, and of hope. I got stopped on the way home by a couple of men who were at the dinner and they thanked us and passed back some of the joy that christ through us had placed in them. It was really neat.

This year was a big eye opener. I've never grown so much in my life. I've changed, even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it. I'm on a journey and this year I definetly took the scenic route.

There was so many firsts this year, like it was the first christmas I've ever wore jeans, the first christmas I've ever had a boyfriend, the first Christmas where I actually had seconds of turkey, the first christmas I've ever eaten dinner in the living room, the first christmas that I didn't get changed into my pajamas before everyone had gone home. It was really the greatest christmas ever. It was the first Christmas I've spent in love with Jesus.

important

This poem is a good reminder of what's really important in life.

I had always been taughtto ask God for what I needed
and that he would give me
whatever I ask for in his name.
So, I asked God forprosperity, power, popularity,
good grades, safety, success,
good friends, health, and wealth.
In all these things,I asked God for more of what I wanted,
but he gave me more of what I needed:
Himself.

mediocre

I've been praying a lot lately about settling for mediocre work. I've been in this area where I will be okay with something as long as it is better than most other people. Like, in my biology class, I'm getting 79%, which is absolutely horrible compared to what my science marks are usually like, yet because it is the highest mark in the class, i'm content with it. Now, I know I can do better, I know I should be doing better, yet the extra time and effort that I'd be putting into it just doesn't seem very appealing. I often feel like that in my christian walk as well. I often want to step out of my comfort zone and do something but a lot of the time I find myself talking myself out of it before I even try. I get telling myself that nothings going to work, that it wouldn't make any difference, and other words of destruction. I've been praying a lot for help sticking with things. For help to continue doing what I know I should be doing even when things get the way, help getting through these obstacles that I usually trip and fall over. Help getting up even if I do fall. Help to continue, to perservere.

reverendfun.com

Weekly Wisdom - Christ Notes

I got my weekly wisdom for this week and I thought I would share part of it:)

The same way you're saved is how you ought to live.

Colossians 2:6 says, So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him.

This is such an awesome scripture for it says that the way we were saved is the way we must live. You didn't get saved by trying and struggling; likewise, you can't live your life on your own strength.

Every believer is saved simply by believing (and receiving) God's love, grace, and mercy. Therefore, live each day of your life by receiving God's strength and walking in His grace and mercy. Remember, the same way you're saved is how you ought to live.

Funny stuff.

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."

The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

About half the class rose and came forward.

"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."



I thought it was pretty entertaining:)

Breaking Point

I've tried writing this blog twice already and I haven't been able to do it. Sometimes I find it really hard exposing my weaknesses, my shortcomings. I often only confide these kind of things with those whom I'm really close with and then usually later in my life I'm able to open up about trials I've been through and weaknesses I've experienced. Today I'm going to put myself out there and hopefully this will be another step towards overcoming this fear of mine. The fear of being inadequate often catches me and I won't let it anymore. I've now realized it and now am taking the step to catch it and throw it away.

Today, I felt like my patience was being tested. I'm usually very patient but today I found where my patience ended. I definetly feel like I failed this test. I got so frustrated I felt like ripping out my hair. I had no idea how to deal with this frustration, so I bottled it. I didn't want people to see the troubles I was having. I knew having all this emotion bottled up wasn't very healthy so I turned to a few of my best friends. They're the ones that I always can talk to, it's nice having them around. I told my story a few times and after that I was still very confused and just plain unhappy. Frustrated and pulled to my breaking point I went to God. I asked Him to help me, I told Him that I knew I couldn't do this on my own. In my weakness I found His strength.

<3

Change inside of me.

Today was definetly different. I like different, don't get me wrong. Today I was focusing a lot in my head about changes I've seen in me. It was kind of cool looking back and seeing who I was and then looking at who I've become. What really excites me are the changes that are yet to come. I'm growing spiritually and every day is another step towards Jesus. It's kind of cool, now I can truthfully answer yes to the question, "has getting older brought me closer to Christ" Yeah it has for me, I've gone from not knowing him, to somewhat knowing him, to now, striving to be like him and to live out my purpose on this earth. I think it's really exciting and it feels like I'm finally living my life, before I was just existing. I pray that I'll never go back, I will never turn away from this path that I happened to stumble apon. I also pray that as I continue to grow older that my worship won't become stale, I pray that it won't just become a routine that I do for the sake of doing, I pray that it will be fresh and genuine everyday of my life.
God is super amazing, and I definetly adore him:)

So I was reading my emails and I ended up reading an email from christianitytoday.com which I don't usually do because... I never seem to have time and a lot of the time they just aren't all that informing. Anyways, I was reading it and it hit something in me so I thought I would post it. I think the implications of putting the label "Christian" on yourself has been coming up a lot for me lately. Just like, once you call yourself a Christian you are immediately getting half a billion more eyes on you just waiting for you to screw up. Thats a lot of pressure to be under! I guess you just have to remember that God knows that you aren't perfect and thats why he sent us Jesus, there is forgiveness!! wooh, good to know.. well, heres the article for incase you wanted to read it:


They'll know we are Christians by our fish?


I was driving in downtown Chicago last week, where traffic seems to be our No. 1 pastime—even ahead of baseball (go Sox!). In my mind-numbed auto stupor, I noticed that the car ahead of me had that little fish on the back (you know, the ichthus?) Really, I couldn't help but notice, not because I'm automatically drawn to Christian symbolism, but because the driver rudely cut me off in traffic without using a turn signal.Don't get me wrong. I'm sure my driving habits have offended others at some point too. None of us are perfect. But the car fish is one of those everyday cultural items that stir mixed feelings in me. At time I'm filled with good cheer when I see it—"Ah, there goes a brother or sister in Christ. God bless!" And admit it: When a driver with a fish on his car is courteous in traffic, you conclude that they were nice because they were a Christian, as "proven" by the fish, right?If that's true, then we need to accept the downside of the fish. It brands us as a Christian, and that means when we pull a fast one in traffic, another driver may think, There goes another rude and arrogant Christian. There's great responsibility in wearing the fish, and from my driving experiences, not enough Christians take it seriously.Should that be any different from wearing the name "Christian" in our everyday living? This directly relates to the whole secular vs. sacred debate. I think some Christian artists are reluctant to be called "Christian artists" because they're afraid that in the spotlight, they will occasionally slip up and misrepresent Christ. It's easy to think, Yes, but we're all family in Christian music—we show grace to each other when we make mistakes—whether in traffic or in the mainstream. Right? Tell that to artists like Amy Grant, P.O.D., Sixpence None the Richer, and Switchfoot.It's something to consider, the responsibility of being labeled for Christ. As it pertains to music, I can see it either way. Whether or not artists are publicly identified as "Christian artists," I can't stress enough that the emphasis be on their conduct, and not on their label. Personally, I'm not the type who calls much attention to myself with symbols and such. I'd rather be labeled a Christian by my words and actions—that people know me as a Christian by my love, not my shortcomings or my advertising.

Brent

So Brent, I bet you think this blog will be all about you. Well, if that is what you're thinking then you're definetly right. So now I bet you're wondering what I'm going to write about you? To tell you the truth, I don't even know what I'm going to write about you yet.


Well, anyways, here I go. So there once was this guy named Brent and He was what most would call a Jesus Freak, I know I definetly would. So yeah, Brent went to school at a big place called New Westminster Secondary School where he started this pretty rad lunch group that this cool girl Ashley happens to attend. At this lunch group he's pretty much one of the coolest leaders ever and actually, speaking of leaders, did I mention that he leads Bible study on sunday morning? Yeah, thats right, is this kid talented or what!? So while I'm on the subject of talented, lets talk about another one of his amazing talents. He is a super drum player, and when I say super, I definetly mean super. Brent is pretty amazing, what can I say... . So really, I could go on for hours about Brent but I don't have hours so I won't.

But before I go, I'd like to do some thanking. Thank you Brent for always being there, Thank you for always being so nice and so easy to talk to, thanks for answering all of my silly out of place questions and for putting up with all of my power trips, you are truly amazing. Thanks for being you:)

Love and such.

I'm so in love, it's really cool. This week has been pretty surreal, I've spent it with a few of the greatest people in the world, I've had conversations that I won't ever forget, I've had frustrations that led to important truths that I probably wouldn't have found without them, and I've been reading my bible tons. Who knew having a strike would be so beneficial? I've found myself doing lots of things and also having time left for those that matter the most, God and my family. It's pretty exciting. So yeah...

This week makes me smile, the last year makes me smile. I've grown more in this year than I have my whole life, its super spectacular.

I've been reading lots in the purpose driven life and there has been a ton of things that have stuck out for me and a lot of them were in the Fellowship section. I'm doing a conflict resolution class at school that I have wanted to quit so many times, not because I wasn't enjoying them or I wasn't getting anything from them, but because I am super lazy and didn't want to have to be at school that early. I know, bad reason but its true. This section made everything I'm learning in school right now applicable for using in Godly life which is super cool because thats the life I'm trying to live:). Yeah... My point was that this book is impactful and that I think that it would be the greatest thing ever if we took this fellowship thing seriously and started working it into our lives, I'm thinking that if even in Refuge we start this then it will impact the whole church and then other churches will see how close we are and then they'll want that in their church too and then all the people outside the church will be all like "woah, look at them, they're all close and such, I want that" and it will eventually impact the whole world. It's a dream, but I see it happening. Refuge, we can be the beginning of a huge movement, doesn't that excite you?

Greatness.

Well, another great weekend was provided by the wondrous Camp Sunrise. I think I love it there, actually i dont think I love it there, I definetly love it there. It's a place that I'd like to be still... but everybody has to go home at some point.

This weekend surrender came up, and it has been coming up quite a bit lately. This morning I went to put my jacket on, my jacket that I haven't worn since before RAW i think.. So anyways, in the pocket I found my testimony and reason for attending RAW rough draft. I read it and was amazed. I guess that sounds funny but its true. I was so joyful when I wrote that, and the cool part is that I'm still joyful. I'm coming up on a year since I gave my life to Jesus and the joy he's given me hasn't faded. Sure, I've had good days and bad days but that underlying joy is always there. Jesus is always there. That makes things a lot better.

So to end this blog on a good note, I will leave you with some beautiful pictures:)

This is my baby,
Xena-------------------------------------->

xena and monkey /Monkey Lulu Huespe

X {LR} : 8

Kittens

Dear Angel and MJ;

I thought I would publically anounce that the kittens are absolutely amazing and that I'm hopelessly in love. They've made my kitchen their home right now and they both seem very happy. The kitchen has absolutely everything they could possibly need: food, kitty litter, water and tons, I mean TONS of love. It's the busiest room in the house so they never get bored. They've got lots of toys but they only really like one... I made it all by myself! Its actually just the string from my pajamas... I tied a little mouse to it and they go crazy playing with it. It's quite entertaining. I think they're the most adorable when they're sleeping.. They either sleep real close to me or sleep in my hands. They're ultra precious. I've only named one so far and that would be the siamese kitten. Her name is Xena. No-one in my family is ultra attached to that name for her but I think it fits her perfectly and she loves it lots. She's my little warrior princess. The fluffy kitty is still anonymous but I'm thinking! I really love them a lot and I want to thank you guys a million times for letting them be a part of my family. One day after school or whatever you guys should come over and we'll hang out and play with the kitties.
Love you lots and lots,
Ashley

PS - I'm in need of email addresses from both of you. Mine is straykittie27@hotmail.com.

Me and God time.

My teachers are on strike. I'm definetly not complaining, today was a very good day. I relaxed, played guitar, read and ate. All of those happening to be a few of my favourite things.


I attempted at "praying without ceasing" today... I wasn't very successful but I'm guessing that it's one of those disipline things thats going to take a while. It's something that I'm going to work on. It was cool doing it though. I talked to God about a lot of stuff that was going on at school and such. We talked about boys and dating and He cleared things up for me. It was a good experiencing so I plan on continuing.

what else has been going on... well there's listening prayer tonight, i guess i'm looking forward to that. Wait, not I guess, I mean I am very much looking forward to it.

<3

Happiness

I've been really happy lately. Everything seems to be working. I feel like... transformed. Born again, again. Its truthfully one of the coolest feelings I've ever felt in my whole life.

One of the best things going on in my life right now is that my focus is changing. Its turning from being apon myself and now turning to God. Its kind of a process that's taking a little while because apparently saying no to self and yes to God is harder than I thought... But, I'm really happy that is changing though because even lately with my small changes I'm noticing an inner joy reveiling itself. yeah... so thats awesome.

So, thank you Jesus for blessing my life and working in my heart. You are truly amazing.

X {LR}: 8

Who am I?

That was what our first sessions were about. Finding out who we are in ways such as our:
S piritual gifts
H eart
A bilities
P ersonality
E xperience

I actually thought that Dave Allen speaking on this was really cool. He had done the "purpose driven life" in his church so a lot of what he talked about came from the book. I thought it was cool because he talked on all the things that I was reading at the time in my book. Super amazing if I must say so myself.

Mentors

That was what our second sessions were about. An amazing man named Darian Kovacs came and talked to us on this and what he said was really moving. He recounted several experiences with mentors and talked about how important they are. He talked about different kinds of mentors and said some amazing things that I will definetly repeat for you.

"Mentors can be stability during a storm,

Mentors can be truth in the midst of lies"

"you can set fire into someones life"

*"Is Jesus enough?"

"I want to be a fire sparker, not a fire fighter."

Those were some things that Darian mentioned that hit me and stuck out.

Do you want to know what my favourite part of the weekend was though? It was that we were a family. Some of us had just met eachother yet we all got along, we all talked to one another as if we had known eachother forever. It was amazing and I really want to see that in our church. I want that sense of family that I don't really see all the time. I think it would be the greatest thing in the world to be able to see all of us come together and be united as the body of Christ even just in refuge. But I don't want it to end at refuge either, God's been talking to me about a lot of things this weekend and unity was definetly a topic that came up a lot.

I thought this weekend was needed and it set me on fire. For awhile i've been feeling like my fires been very close to dieing, Iw as ready to give up. This was taking too much work and I wasnt seeing any changes. My fire was kindled this weekend though, it is now a consuming fire.

Darian Kovacs said that Olive trees take up to three generations to bear fruit. So thats like investing yourself in someone as a mentor, it takes time and you might not see fruit right away.

So those are some of my thoughts for right now.. There's a lot more in my head but I'll write them at some other point in time...

Happy Thoughts

Words have power

I'm frustrated and quite upset. Words are so powerful and even when they're not said to you they can still affect you. I believe my frustration is more of a built up thing... I've been angry about this same subject many times but every time it came up I would let it slide. I'd just say to myself that it wasn't worth confronting. It turns out it was. I didn't confront this problem so it has come up again and again. I've hit a point where I can't let it slide anymore though. Now I'm not the only one being hurt by this so it has to be dealt with.

I'm not sure how I'm going to do this though. I'm very afraid of damaging a friendship. I know that leaving this alone will damage it even more than confronting it will though... So, I'm not really sure why this fear is here. I was hoping for you guys to pray for me.. Pray that the words and the courage needed will be given to me because right now I have none of that.

Proverbs 13:3He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.
Psalm 141:3Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Proverbs 12:18Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Outer Appearance

I often find myself "needing" things. The truth is I don't really need many of the things I feel I need. I was thinking about that the other day... My mom said that I was being vain, which I was... I've been caring so much lately about what I look like and what I'm wearing.. It takes quite a bit of persuasion to remember that God doesn't care about those things at all.. they don't matter. It's how I look on the inside that matters.

Mosquitoes

I went camping.. a while ago now but I still went camping. Mosquitoes love it when you're camping. They find you every single time and attack you. They swarm and attack. They know exactly when you want to relax.. They strike and they suck majorly. I found something that they couldn't deal with though. They all left my area and swarmed the unprotected kids in my family. I found something quite special. If you're asking what it was then I will tell you. It was the super great invention called "Mosquito Repellant." Now, this was my first time camping with this strange contraption and truthfully I never want to leave my house without it again. So when I started writing this I was going in a totally different direction but God has changed the way things have been written. He's quite cool in that way. Well, would anyone like an interpretation?

I'm giving it to you anyways.

Well the Devil is quite the guy... he swarms, he attacks... he's very annoying.. You know, he kind of reminds me of someone... I wonder who?

Umm well theres This God Fellow... He repels the Devil...

So now God is Mosquito Repellant and let me tell you, there are mosquitoes everywhere and at all times so I'd be immersed in mosquito repellant all the time if I were you.

So... this blog went a way different way than I meant for it to go... It was goign to be about self control... a very important thing... It's one of the fruits of the Spirit! that shows how grand it is...

Lifelong Learning

I went to school this morning and I learned more in 5 hours than I've learned all summer long. It was a day of transformation for me. I've realized that the ways I have been dealing with conflicts with my parents and my siblings is nowhere near constructive. This class has changed my whole thinking pattern and it was such a rapid change too. It was wierd. Definetly needed, but wierd. It was so useful too, I was able to help out so much just in one day. I think its crazy... 5 hours and my life is changed. I think truthfully it took like half an hour for me to realize that I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be in anything really. But then I thought, who is? Everyday we're learning and everyday we're going to learn. Its lifelong and its never going to end.

Slacking

I was thinking about slacking today. Not only because I've being a slacker when it comes to writing in my blog but also because I choose to not do enough in many parts of my life.

For the last two days I've been saying to myself that I would email Karyn and that I would read John. Have I done any of those things? no.... I've done other productive things but the things that I've deliberately set out to do I haven't gotten around to. I'm thinking of starting a list and locking myself in my room until everything is done. That would get things done.. I'd go crazy but everything that I needed to be done would be finished.

I've been slacking in my prayer life as well. I'll be praying and then my mind will wander and I'll end up having a conversation with myself instead of with God. I find that I barely ever even finish my prayers because I'll get sidetracked. It happens so often. I try so hard not to but it still happens. I'm going to pray for God's help in this situation because I can't do it on my own. I was praying the bible the other day and I didn't get sidetracked then so I think I'm going to do that more often and stand up and walk around while I'm praying. Those things will most likely help.

I was reading something in Proverbs yesterday... or maybe it was the day before... I don't remember but it talked about laziness and I was going to write it down and give it to Andrew but it seems that right now I'm in need of it as well. I'm being extremely lazy and that's not what I was made to do. I have lots of energy, I have nothing wrong with my legs or my arms or anything so that brings me to thinking that I wasn't meant for sitting around on my butt all day doing nothing. I'm supposed to be out doing things.

I was talking to my little brother about Jesus today. He's so adorable and he loves sitting and talking with me. He would much rather talk about lamps though... I tried talking about heaven and stuff with him . He was really cute , I told him God lived in heaven and he said he wanted to fly up to see him. I told him that God made the trees and stuff and he thought that that was cool. My baby is the greatest kid in the world. I spent the whole morning with him. We listened to Jesus music while I gave him a massage and put lotion on to his arms and legs and hands and feet. We made a bracelet and a necklace too and he's been wearing them all day which is surprising because normally they would've been given back to me after a half an hour of him wearing them.

I've had a good day, My moms going to take me shopping for swimming shorts soon and tonight I'm going to spend some time with God and I'm going to read John. I really like that book, It's all Jesus-y:).

God is love

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I was reading this scripture because I've always liked it. It fills me with happiness whenever I come across it. I was reading it yesterday and I decided to insert God wherever it said love because God is love.

God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God is not rude, God is not self seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.

Wow, that definetly made my day yesterday. I was ecstatic. It made me so happy.

In the beginning...

I was reading the blogs of some friends and then got all of these thoughts so I had to make my own... I know, I'm such a copycat, but I couldn't help my self. My mind was racing and all of my thoughts had to go somewhere so why not right here.

I had this dream last night. These two guys came up through my gate and went straight for Tim and started choking him. My Mom, Dad, and I all ran outside. My mom saved Tim and then they started choking her. My Dad helped her out and there I was running around like a maniac "Jesus is Lord!" "Jesus is Lord!". My Dad got one of the guys and then tied him up in the backyard. Everyone went back to normal. My Dad was watering the grass, My mom went to the kitchen, Tim sat at the picnic table, and I stood on the porch thinking about how crazy it was that there was a murderer tied up in my backyard like a dog. The other guy came back and went after me. The guy who was tied up in the backyard got free and came after me also. They're both coming after me and one has the chance to kill me and he didn't take it. He came and put his arm around my neck and I couldn't get "Jesus is Lord" out of my mouth anymore. He pinched this one part in my neck so that I couldn't be heard anymore.

Well I didn't really think much about my dream until I started writing this but I believe I've gotten it pretty much all figured out. In it I think that the two guys were the devil and it shows how the devil will go after everyone, it doesn't matter if they're disabled, elderly, anything. I think it also shows how we can tame the devil and keep him away by having the Lord number one on our list and using his strength to keep the devil away but if you forget about the Lord and he loses the number one spot then the devils going to take that advantage and run with it. The devils silenced me at the end. I was no longer able to proclaim the truth and I think that that can happen. You start thinking about other things and when theres someone who needs prayer instead of praying for them you blow them off thinking that someone else will do it for you. But I think that if you have the opportunity to witness to someone or help someone in need then you should take it. I know I probably sound like a hypocrite because I often keep my mouth shut when I know that I'm supposed to be witnessing. That happened when I was on Gabriola Island. This man needed Jesus and I know Jesus and I could have introduced them, I believe this man was sent to me to find Jesus but I didn't say a word. Not a word. That bothered me a lot afterwords. I could have brought Jesus to someone in need and I didn't. Fear took a hold of me and I froze. I still can't believe I did that. It's something that I don't ever want to do again.